New Beginnings
by AJ079
Summary: James is just fighting to fit in for once. With a new environment comes new chances to screw things up, and being the awkward mess that he is doesn't help either. When you can't seem to find the good in yourself, you'd be surprised at who turns up to show you.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Victorious. Apart from a TV. But so does everyone, so yeah...**

Here we go, first day at a new school. A school that's full of really talented people. Having to move to California from England because my Dad got a job over here wasn't the easiest thing in the world, and we had to find a school. Adam, my brother, recorded my guitar playing and sent it off to Hollywood Arts as a joke. I ended up being accepted, and he's barely stopped reminding me about it since. He's thinks he can work miracles, which I believe: my guitar playing isn't anything special (compared to Adam, at least, he's fantastic), and that's the only musical talent I have. I wish I could sing, too, but I'm glad with what little talent I have.

My hands are sweating as I start to pull open the door, as I can already hear music coming from inside. This is by far the most stressful thing I've ever had to do, including that time when i had 1 day to revise for and end of unit exam. That was a nightmare. Actually, that reminds me of that time when...no, focus. Anyway, I walk through the door and into the main corridor. The first thing I notice is that all the lockers are decorated. Wait, is that...chewed up food? OK then... I then look for the source of the music, and there's 6 people sitting on the stairs. The 3 that are singing are lasses, and they're not unattractive, either. The lad playing the keyboard seems able to play with no difficulty whatsoever, and the other lad is playing guitar, and seems to play effortlessly as well. Then there's a guy sitting next to the lass that looks like a Goth, and his arm is draped over her shoulders. I'm guessing they're in a relationship. I do my best to avoid staring at the group, but it's easier said than done. The lasses' voices are just...wow. I'm really out of my depth here. I hope these are the exceptional students, 'cause otherwise...I'm scuppered. Thinking similar thoughts to those, I walk over to the locker that is obviously mine (it's the only one that's not decorated) and open it. I take most of the stuff from my bag and throw it in my locker, then check my timetable. Monday...French is first. Ugh. I hate French. Always have, always will. I close my locker, and one of the lasses who was singing walks up to me. I have no idea what the people here are like, so I'm prepared for a bombardment of "you don't belong here" and words to that effect

"Hi!" So she isn't going to go off it with me. That's good.

"Hi!" I reply enthusiastic, with a smile on my face. I don't want to make a bad first impression

"You're new here, aren't you?"

"Yeah. Only just started today."

"Oh, cool. I'm Tori. And you are...?" She says the second sentence after I fail to reply to the first. Awkward...

"Oh. I'm James. Do you know where French is?" I actually have no idea where anything is, as my brother thought it would be funny to hide my map of the school on my first day. Also, I'm not too fond of talking to new people, and I'm really awkward most of the time, as you just saw.

"I know!" I hear from behind Tori, as one of the other people who were singing, the short, red-headed one, skips over. "You go up these stairs, turn right..." she says at lightning speed. I manage to keep up, but something tells me I'm getting lost no matter who gives me directions, or how thorough they are. Why can't there be arrows telling you where everything is? My previous school was just 3 straight corridors on top of each other, and there were directions on the walls there, not to mention that stupid one-way system. Why's she looking at me like that? Oh, she's stopped talking now. I guess I'd better respond.

"Right, I think I should get there ok now, thanks for your help." I say, smiling, as I walk away from them and head towards my class. I accidentally bump into the third singer, the one who looks like a Goth, on my way up the stairs. She turns and shrieks "Watch it!" in my face. I apologise, and continue up the stairs as the bell goes.

Ten minutes later, I walk into my French class after going pretty much everywhere else. I apologise for being late, and sit by myself as far back as I can, as far away from the other people as possible. I don't have any problem with them, I just generally don't trust people. They just confuse me, but I don't know why... "OK, class" the teacher says, pulling me out of my thoughts. "turn to someone near you and tell them who you get on well with in your family."

The lad sitting in front of me turns around and says "Je m'entends bien avec ma soeur car elle est sympa." He smiles, overly proud of himself. Ugh, he's _that_ kind of person. A show off. well, if that's how you want to do this, try this on for size. "Je mentend's bien avec mon frece parce que Il est tres intelligent et Il aide moi avec mes devoirs. Cependant, Il est tres agacant, de temps en temps." It's not great, and some of the words I haven't had much practise with, so I probably used them wrong. Ah well. At least he won't be cocky any more.

Most of the class went by like that, simple stuff that I'd learned last year or the year before, but I was still grateful when it ended. Next up, double maths. 2 hours of maths is unbearable. It's just tedious. As I walked in, I could see the group who were playing music when I first walked in sitting in the row by the windows, with and empty desk behind them. Tori waved at me, then pointed out the desk behind them. I shook my head, sitting on my own again. Turns out that maths is just answering the questions that are on the board. I put on my glasses so I can actually read what it says. Expanding brackets and factorising quadratic expressions. Easy stuff. By the end of the first hour I'd done all 40 questions, as these are the easiest things you can do in high school maths. I remember when I did it for my GCSE's in year 10. Do they even have GCSE's in America? I have no idea. Speaking of GCSE's, will my maths results be sent now that I'm living in America? I don't suppose it'll be much use over here, but still. Ah good, new questions. And they're about the quadratic formula. I smile to myself, as this was probably my favourite part of maths when I still lived in England (Trigonometry aside).

I sit alone at lunch, Listening to Anberlin at almost full volume. If you haven't heard Unwinding Cable Car, especially the live version, you're missing one of their best songs (in my opinion). I'm picturing the table as a fretboard, putting my fingers in the right places as I hear the notes played in the song while I tap my foot and slightly nod my head. People must think I'm insane, but that's never stopped me before. I've never really cared what people think. Did I also mention that I mouth along? I'd sing if I could, but I can't, and I'm not going to embarrass myself on the first day.

_This is the correlation of salvation and love._

_Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart,_

_With quiet words that lead you_

_In and out of the dark._

And here we go. I'm listening to the live version, where Stephen holds that note for 15 and a half seconds, while singing it at the top of his voice. Mind you, his singing here is nothing compared to the notes he hits for Anchor & Braille. Now THAT is impressive. And I'm listening to Down now. I really like the set list they had for this concert...

Out of nowhere, someone touches me on the shoulder and I jump 15 feet in the air. Not really, it was only about an inch, but it felt like more than that.

"Hi" a familiar voice says as I turn to face whoever it is. Tori.

"Erm...hi." What? I told you I was awkward.

"Do you want to come sit with us?" It's come AND sit with us, get it right.

"OK." I grab my bag and switch off my MP3 player, then head over to their table, awkwardly sitting down as someone moved their bag to make space for me after I stood looking round the table for about 15 seconds.

"Guys, This is James, the new kid. James, This is Beck," she points to the guy who was sitting next to the Gothic looking girl. "Jade," she indicates the girl I was just talking about. "Robbie," the guy who was playing guitar. "Andre," The one who was playing the keyboard. "And Cat." Cat's the redhead who told me where my French class was this morning. She's also the person I'm sitting next to.

"Hi guys." I say, without much confidence. I'm really nervous. Before a conversation can get started, a lanky guy with curly hair walks up to the table and sniffs Tori's hair.

"Sinjin, what the hell!"

"I'm sorry, I can't help it." There's a pause. "I see there's a new main person." he says, looking at me. "How does it feel to be among the best students here?"

"They're the best students here?" I had my suspicions, but now i feel really intimidated by them. I must've looked worried, because Tori quickly started talking again.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you're great at whatever you do." and she smiles at me. That doesn't often happen.

"So James, what Instrument do you play?" Andre asks me.

"I play the guitar. I'm not brilliant, but they must've thought that I was good enough to get in here."

"Why don't you show us what you can do, then?" I'm panicking like mad, but I conceal it well. I hope. I begin to look for every possible excuse to not play.

"I don't have a guitar with me, sorry."

"I have one right here, don't worry." Really, Robbie, can't you tell I'm trying to get out of this?

"Oh, I'd have to change the tuning to play something impressive"

"Then just play something you're comfortable with, that way you mightn't make any mistakes."

"But most of the stuff I can play takes 2 guitarists, and It'd take too long to teach someone to play it."

"Then play the songs that only take one person to play." Honestly, these people don't give up, do they? Then again, I suppose they have to be like that if they're going to make it in the music industry. I'll just play Dream Catch Me, I practise that one loads.

"Fine, but don't expect to be knocked off your feet." I begin playing, then realise the guitar is out of tune, just a little, so I tune it. I'm sure someone would be able to tune it if I said I couldn't play an out of tune guitar. I start again. I realise I'm going to need a Plectrum, so I take one out of my pocket while I let the G at the end of the chorus ring out. I start playing again just in time, starting on the second verse. By the time I've finished playing, I don't think I've missed a note, which is out of the ordinary, for me at least. I'd actually forgotten there was an audience, i was too focused on playing the song well. I hear someone clap a little.

"Well, I can't say I've ever heard that song, but you played it well. I'll listen to it when I get the chance."

"It would've been much better if I could sing" I mutter to myself. I think Cat might have heard me, but she didn't give any indication that she did (that I noticed, anyway), so I didn't worry.

"Have you decided on a decoration for your locker yet?" I almost choke on my food. Yeah, I'm ok at drawing, but I don't like people seeing my work. And every pupil has to walk past my locker at some point, so I'm not thrilled about that.

"What?" I ask, eyebrows raised and eyes wide.

"You have to decorate your locker when you start here. It's a tradition." Andre tells me.

"What sort of thing do I have to do?" I ask, hoping to get some help

"Something creative." Whey nar(!)

"Like...?"

"Something that reflects you. For example, I have no secrets, and neither does my locker."

"Eh?"

"His locker is 'Transparent'"

"Yeah, I'll show you it when you walk past." Beck tells me, his mouth full of food. Polite...

"I take it you don't have a slap account, either?" I give Jade a quizzical look in response.

"The slap is the schools social networking site where you can follow people you like."

"Ah." I take my phone out of my pocket and make an account. I follow Beck, Andre, Robbie, Tori, Cat, and, after consideration, Jade. I then retreat into my thoughts to try and decide on a design. Well, I'm a massive trekkie, so I could do the 2009 Enterprise from above, or maybe Voyager...I really can't decide on what to do. What about the Stargazer? Not many people know about that ship. But putting starships onto my locker isn't very imaginative. Maybe I could try and paint something that summarizes me? Something musical, eccentric...I've got it! A mixing desk, with a screen above it with the sounds being displayed, then a speaker with a stave of music above it that people could sing/play as they walk past! It's just an Idea, but it's not a bad one. Admittedly, it needs a lot of work, but I could eventually do something people might like. Hang on...

I grab my stuff and sprint inside. I've just realized everyone went to class about 2 minutes ago.

**A/N: Hi guys. Well, this is my first fic. I'm sure you'll all be able to find errors somewhere, and when you do, tell me in the reviews, then I can fix it! you'll also find cliches aplenty, as I'm completely new to all this. If you have any ideas that could help the fic be better, tell me in the reviews. If you want the characters to be portrayed differently, or a character to be more heavily involved, review. If you hate me, review. If you can't understand my words, tell me and I shall make everything understandable, or die trying!**

**I'm going to wait for your reviews before posting chapter 2 so I know what people want from the story and can edit it accordingly. Or maybe I'll post it anyway, so the people who read this (all 2 of them) don't have to wait ages for a review. Also, I have no idea why the lyrics for Unwinding Cable Car are up there. But that is a great song. Have a listen. Also, does anybody have a suggestion for a name for this fic? I'm honestly clueless, and some help would go a long way. Not really, it'd sort the title out, but still. I'd just like to say...British spelling, not American.**

**Is it just me, or is this A/N too long...?**

**I feel really awkward. Do I just say "bye" or do I do some weird kinda "Bye guys, see you later (thumbs up) :D" I seriously don't know. Erm...See you later, I guess :/ ...**

**Review?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. Never have, never will.**

I'd just walked through the door about a second ago, and I'm already being bombarded with questions.

"How was it?"

"Were the teachers ok?"

"How were the lessons?"

"Have you made any friends yet?" That last question makes me think. Have I? I don't think so. Whenever I become "friends" with someone, they always make jokes about me. They never let anything I say slide, there's always at least 10 minutes of jokes afterwards, and maybe a few references later on. Now that I think about it, I don't really want friends. They always hurt your feelings, no matter what, and it's rarely accidental. I'm just the geek everyone makes fun of. I'd be happier with...well, me, if it wasn't for the people back in England who made my life a misery. They always brought me down whenever I did something I was proud of, like a drawing. Everyone pointed out the flaws, even though I was happy with it. I'm not happy with much nowadays. I like food though, food's nice.

"Have you met any girls?" This last question pulls me from my thoughts, as I turn to face the overly inquisitive person to my right. Bad question to ask when I've just managed to upset myself.

"Dad, I've barely even spoke to anyone today, and I doubt I will for a while, you know what I'm like. Besides, did you forget what happened last time I went out with someone?" Yeah, those were some hellish months. I thought I'd found someone special, someone I really liked. Turns out, she wasn't who I thought she was. She just started to take me for granted. After we split up, she wouldn't leave me alone; pretty much every text I got was her trying to get me back. Since then, I've decided relationships aren't for me. I mean, can you picture me in a relationship? Yeah, me neither. Anyway, mental rant over. "Besides, even if I remotely liked someone, what would I say? I'd try to invite them to goodness knows what, but I'd just stutter at the first word, get angry, and walk away before I punch something. Yeah, that'd be _really_ appealing. Not to mention the fact that my life consists of school and sitting in my room, wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing whilst Adam's out with friends pretty much every other night, and working on a Physics degree. So, the only reason I'd be approached by a lass would be because they want my brother's number."

"Sorry I mentioned it." My Dad replies, looking slightly upset as he says it, then turning back to the TV. Now I feel bad: I shouldn't have said what I said the way I said it. He was just trying to talk to me, and I went and said that? Great, now I hate myself even more. I get up, go to my room, and sit at my computer. Seeing as I have no social life, I just spend all my time either on my computer or drawing. I really like drawing, it's unfortunate that I'm crap at it. Even when I try, everything's out of proportion, or something's in the wrong place, or that pencil line's too heavy...

Once I've finished a mental list of my faults (I was there for quite a while), I open up my internet browser and go to The Slap. 5 followers so far. It's a wonder I have that many, if I'm honest. Closing the window, I start up World of Warcraft.

After spending most of the evening playing and eating, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I only get messages when I need to top up again, as my social life is non-existent, so it comes as a surprise. I look down at the screen and open the message. It's from Cat, who I believe is the "quirky" lass I sat next to at lunch.

_Hi! I didn't have your number, so I couldn't text you. You do have a mobile, don't you? My brother used to have a really nice one, but he tried to eat it twice, so he's only allowed to use one when our parents are around._

What did I just read? What was that message even about? I hope it wasn't the start of a conversation; I never have to deal with small talk. I'm terrible at talking to people, I always say something wrong or stutter, if I'm talking to them in person. Every text I get from a person is concise, and to the point. No one really wants to talk to me, they just want me to help with their homework. I hear my phone buzz again

_I meant to ask how your first day at Hollywood Arts was! I think it's great, everyone's really talented and the teachers are nice and the lessons aren't too bad either. I really like acting class with Sikowitz. He's the best teacher there. Did you enjoy it?_

Did I enjoy it? I guess it wasn't too bad. The people seemed nice, but then again, they always do.

_Yeah, I guess._ Is all that I send back. I don't really know what else to say. Just then, I hear a knock on my door.

"You ok?" My Dad's clearly worried about something. Probably because of my outburst earlier

"Yeah, why?"

"After what you said earlier, I thought you must've had a rough day, so I decided to come and check on you, see if you're alright."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just worried that this school will be just as bad, if not worse, than the last one. Sorry about my...rant earlier" So I moved school a few times, just because people were really being as bad as they could. I started beating myself up over it. Literally.

"Don't worry about it. If you ever need to talk about anything, or you're worried about something, let me know. ok?"

"Yeah." I smile, and he smiles back. As he leaves, I go to pick up my guitar, but then I remember how...inferior my musical ability is compared to the other students, so I lean back and start listening to some music.

After an hour and a half of listening to music, I feel my phone vibrate again. I pick it up, and see I have a few more messages from Cat.

_How come it was just ok? Hollywood Arts is great!_

_Is something up?_

_Hello?_

_Are you ok?_

_Well, I'll talk to you later, then..._

I feel really bad now. That's been happening quite a bit lately. So, I send a reply. You may think that that's a pretty normal thing to do, but I'd usually just reply the next day, if at all.

_Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me :)_

I spend the next minute waiting for another message, and sure enough...

_Yay! I really liked the thing you played at lunch! Could you bring in your guitar so you can play the "impressive stuff" tomorrow?_

_I don't think so. I was pressured into that, and I really don't fancy it again. I'll probably avoid it for as long as I can. I don't really enjoy playing in front of people. _Wait, did I just send that? Did I really just tell someone who's pretty much a stranger something about me? I never open up. I always push people away, especially since what happened back in England. My phone goes off again, and I'm expecting some sort of insult, as per usual. But it's not.

_Please please please please pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease play more stuff! You're super talented! And you seemed to enjoy yourself when you played in front of people today._ Man, she never gives up...and she makes some good points...

_No, it'll end up with me somehow breaking my guitar or messing up, and as a result leaving without what little self-worth I had at the start of the day._ There I go again, opening up. I wish I'd stop, things will go downhill quickly if I can't keep my mouth shut.

_Awwwwwww, I was really looking forward to it... :(_

I don't think anyone's really wanted to hear me play this much. I mean, Adam's fantastic with all his fingerstyle madness, while I only know Rylynn. Everything else I play is pretty simple and unimpressive. Adam always gets the attention. He's a better, less awkward and more respectable version of me. Do you know that thing about younger siblings being a second attempt because the older one(s) didn't work out? That really doesn't apply here: Adam beats me when we play basketball, he plays things on guitar I could never manage, He's studying advanced physics at the University he goes to here, and he's really popular, too. He's actually at a party with a few of his friends. and by a few, I mean 20-something. This is starting to get depressing.

Maybe it's about time I came out of my shell. I mean, the guys at Hollywood Arts seem really canny, much more so than the people in the place I used to live, and they might not be as bad to me as others were...

Don't be stupid. No-one will like it. Or you. You'll mess up, big time, and end up being made fun of again, being the reject again. You can't handle that. You're the weakest person I know.

Yes, I can. I just need a few people to be nice and then i'll get through it. And maybe, just maybe, I won't keep my anger bottled up this time, and anyone who's horrible will regret it. I'm turning into you, being all aggressive...

have you heard yourself? You're not as nice as you once were. You shouldn't try this again, there's no going back if you do this. You might really lose control and put someone in hospital.

You don't use reason often, so I must be winning this argument. I'm stronger than you think, thanks to other people, and you, constantly putting me down. I don't want to hear any more from you. I'm going to do this, no matter what you say.

...

Ok, so I _may_ have just had an argument with myself, but then again, that happens a lot. Nothing to worry about. Back to the issue at hand..

_I'll have to clear it with my parents first, but I'll see what I can do._ Take that, negative side of me!

I walk into the living room, looking around for my parents. I see a note on the sofa, so I walk over and read it. "We've gone out to pick Adam up, you know where all the food is :)" I guess I'll have to wait for them to get back before I ask, then. Hang on, am I really going to do this? the last time I tried to play one of those complex pieces, everyone watching burst out laughing when I messed up. Ah well, I'm only playing for 6 people, it can't be that bad...can it? I'll just practise like crazy, starting now. I sprint to my room, pick up my guitar, and start practicing Rylynn. I don't stop until my parents get back, at which point I walk out of my room and ask if I can take my guitar to school tomorrow.

"James, are you sure it's a good idea after last time? I don't want you going through that again..."

"Mam, it's fine, I'm just playing in front of 6 people, and they weren't horrible when I played a little bit today."

"I still don't think you should..."

"Please, I've been practicing for ages, and I've thought about it a lot. There's not much chance of something going wrong."

"If you're sure...then...ok." She still looks worried about it.

"Thanks!" I'm beaming, but I don't know why. This could all go to hell. Again.

I run back upstairs and start practicing again. I can't afford to make any mistakes this time around. I get back to my phone, and send Cat another message.

_I'm allowed to bring it in. Should I play at lunch again?"_ I'm excited and nervous simultaneously. I mean, they could love it, or they could hate it, and hate me for it as well. Another buzz.

_That's a great idea! I'm so excited! You're gonna be amazing!_

I'm surprised at this: she barely knows me, yet she thinks I'll be fantastic. I've got nothing on Cat and the others. Seriously, I've never heard anybody sing that well.

_Thanks, but I doubt I will. Not compared to you guys, at least._

Almost instantly, I get a reply.

_Don't say that! If the song you played today was good, then this one will be amazing! (I think you'll be better that Robbie) :D_

She really thinks that I'm better than one of her friends? I wasn't expecting that. At all. Maybe I'm not as bad as I thought I was. I've just realised that pretty much all of tonight's thoughts (and arguments) were caused by Cat's messages. I'll have to thank her for that: I think I'm finally starting to be more self-confident. I'd better stop talking, as I get really weird when I'm tired. I finally manage to get to sleep, despite the fact that my fingers sore from practicing for ages, and that my mind's still racing about what could happen tomorrow.

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry for my last Author's Note, goodness knows what I was thinking. Also, sorry for the late update. I've been struggling with this a litte (as you can tell), but I've had a little help. A massive thanks to .Point for helping me out with the story. You should read her stuff, I think it's great.**

**This chapter may seem weird to you, and that's because it is. But it's leading somewhere, don't worry, and this is vital for that. Anyway, I appreciate that people are even reading this, even though it's, well, awful. I hope the next update doesn't come as late as this one, seeing as the easter holidays are almost here and I'll have lots of spare time.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading, despite all the flaws. I appreciate it. :)**


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